The Early Signs Families Notice First (Long Before a Diagnosis)
The first sign is rarely dramatic. It's a repeated story, a missed turn, a bill paid twice. Here's how to pay attention without panicking.
By Cindy Gerard
Almost nobody's story starts in a doctor's office. It starts at a kitchen table, when someone tells the same story twice in an afternoon and you catch your sister's eye across the room.
What families tend to see first
- Repeated questions or stories within a short span of time
- Trouble with familiar sequences — a recipe, a route, the TV remote
- Bills paid twice, or not at all
- Withdrawing from things they used to organize
- Small changes in temper, patience, or mood late in the day
Any one of these can be a bad night's sleep, a new medication, grief, or simple aging. What matters is the pattern, not the moment.
Write it down — gently
Keep a plain notebook. Date, what happened, what was going on around it. No conclusions, no diagnosis language. When you eventually sit with a clinician, three months of dated observations is worth more than an hour of worried description.
Noticing is not betrayal. Paying attention is a form of love.
What not to do yet
Don't quiz them. Memory tests at Thanksgiving embarrass people and tell you nothing. Don't announce a theory to the family. And don't stop treating them like the person they still are — because they are still that person, entirely.
- dementia
- early signs
- family caregiving
Keep reading
It Was Funny… Until It Wasn't
For the moment you realize the stories you used to laugh about have started to worry you.
About this bookNewsletter
Stay Connected
Subscribers receive book announcements, publishing news, and occasional updates from the press. Nothing more, and never often.
We respect your inbox. You can unsubscribe at any time — every email includes a one-click unsubscribe link.