Behavior Is Communication: Reading What Someone Can't Say

When words become unreliable, behavior carries the message. The question is never "how do I stop this?" It's "what is this telling me?"

The usual suspects underneath a hard moment

• Pain that hasn't been named — teeth, joints, constipation, a UTI
• Overwhelm: too much noise, too many people, too many choices
• Fear of exposure or cold, which explains a great many refused showers
• Boredom, which looks a lot like agitation
• A need for control in a day where nothing has been theirs

"I want to go home" while sitting at home

Home is rarely an address. It's a feeling of safety that belongs to another decade. Arguing with the address loses every time. Asking about the home they're picturing — who's there, what's cooking — usually settles the moment within minutes.

You can meet someone in their reality without lying to them.

Afterward, repair. A hard moment doesn't have to become a hard day. Come back in, offer something ordinary, and let the relationship carry the weight.

• behavior
• dementia
• person-centered care

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The Story Behind the Behavior

For the days when behavior stops making sense and you need a way to understand it.

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