The Story Behind the Behavior
For the days when behavior stops making sense and you need a way to understand it.
By Cindy Gerard
The moment this book is for
"I don't understand the behavior."
Looking beyond behaviors to understand what someone may really be trying to communicate.
Refusing a shower. Asking to go home while sitting at home. Sudden anger at 4 p.m. Accusations that aren't true. These moments frighten families because they feel like the person is disappearing.
The Story Behind the Behavior offers a different lens: behavior is communication. When words become unreliable, behavior carries the message — pain, fear, boredom, overwhelm, a need for control, a memory surfacing out of order.
This book teaches you to ask what a behavior is saying instead of how to stop it, and to respond in a way that calms the moment and protects the relationship.
What you'll learn
- The unmet needs hiding behind common behaviors
- How environment, pain, and time of day drive reactions
- De-escalation that preserves dignity
- Why arguing with a false belief never works — and what does
- How to recover the relationship after a hard moment
Key takeaways
- Behavior is communication, not misbehavior.
- Look for the need underneath the moment.
- You can meet someone in their reality without lying to them.
- Calm is a caregiving skill, and it can be learned.
What readers say
"This series offers the kind of guidance families need when facing a life-changing diagnosis. Compassionate without being overly sentimental, practical without ever losing sight of the person at the center of the experience."
— Reader review — Practical, compassionate, and deeply needed
"What I appreciated most is its focus on seeing the individual rather than only the diagnosis. The books are easy to understand, encouraging, and filled with useful suggestions families can put into practice."
— Reader review — A meaningful resource for the whole family
"These books address difficult situations in a gentle, reassuring way. The message throughout is clear and important: a diagnosis may change someone's needs, but it does not change who they are."
— Reader review — Helpful without feeling overwhelming
Read next
I Am Still Here
For the person living with the diagnosis — written to them, not about them.
Continue the series